taking stock, my treasure

I am worth about 38,000$ right now.

You take the (estimated) worth of all my possessions, money in the bank, investments, all that, it's around that number give or take a few thousand. Not even enough to pay for a year at Northwestern...

I am at the lowest level in my job path.

Oldest (performing) member of my dance group.

Youngest son.

Single.

I've got a lot of good friends. Made some new ones recently.

If you were to ask who I was, I'd give you my name.
If you were to ask what I did, I'd tell you my job.
If you were to ask where I was from, it would be where I'm living now, not where I grew up.

It's one of the oldest posed questions of "who am I?" Are we defined by the material, what we own, how we dress, look? Are we defined by our social standing, job, economic status? What about race, gender, ideals?

A better question would be "What is your life?" I heard a pastor say there are three basic questions about life. Where did I come from, why am I here, and where do I go from here?

There's a difference between physically living and being alive. Everyone we see is of the former.

Life... it's no wonder they say we must be born again to enter into new life. Life comes from birth. You're given physical life when you're born, and you're given spiritual life, when you're born again into a living relation to God.

He's the same yesterday, today, tomorrow. For where you came from, where you are, and where you're going, He is always the same.

John (Wesley) died in 1791, converted at 35. Turn that round it makes 53. Add them together it makes 88. Because he was saved at 35, preached for 53 years. And you know what he left when he died? He left a handful of books, a faded Geneva gown that he preached in all over England, six silver spoons somebody gave him, six pound notes, “give one to each of the poor men that carry me to my grave.” And that’s all he left: six pound notes, six silver spoons, a handful of books, a Geneva gown and ah… there’s something else… what was it, the other thing? Oh, I know, something else he left, the Methodist Church.

He could have died as rich as your famous TV preacher Sunday. Sure he made money, and he built orphanages. Sure he made money, he printed bibles. Sure he made money. He compiled, with Charles, the Methodist hymnbook and look at his orphanages. And he died worth about thirty dollars.

At 24, I'm worth about 1,000 times he was at death. But he probably has millions of times the treasure in heaven. And where your treasure is, your heart will also be.

An Update ....!!??!?! Time

Time is... precious. More so now than it's ever been.

There are many connotations when people say this. One is the, "I have 5 hours left before my midterm" time is precious. Then there's the "He's only going to be alive for 5 more minutes!" time is precious. Then there's the "Jesus is coming back soon" time is precious. And of course, there is the day to day, "I have x number of hours in a day to do whatever I want" and that is the angle I will approach on this.

I spend about 10.5 hours in transit and at work. (2 hour commute, 8 hours work, half hour lunch), sleep for maybe 7. So that leaves about 6.5 hours everyday to do anything. Maybe I spend 30 min in the morning getting up and then 30 min getting ready for bed. Maybe an hour and a half cooking, eating and cleaning. So I'm down to 4 hours. Seems like a lot, but for some reason I find myself without time to do simple things like responding to emails, dancing, praying. I pray on the train, everyday haha, I get an hour each way, and though my thoughts stray and wander, for the most part, I'm never bored on my commute. When I'm lucky enough to get a seat, I can read my Bible.

I know where my time goes. It goes into seeing people, spending time with friends. And it's so amazing to me and I'm so thankful to be able to do so. I always want to do more for my friends, and perhaps I beat up on myself when I fall short of my own want. Sometimes hearing, "you do enough" is enough to give me strength to keep on going and keep on pushing myself. To be kinder, less selfish, more considerate, caring.

There's a handful of people I've been praying for everyday for about a month. I want to grow that number more and more. When I pray, I haven't spent a lot of time, just being.... being with God. It's easy... easier when I was in college. I had so much time. I spend more time with people than I did back then I think. But less time with God... is it worth it? More than that, I believe the time I spent with God made the time I had with people more meaningful. Not that my time now isn't, but ... I.. miss just being able to talk to people how good God is, and everything He's done for me. But who am I if I'm just words... So what if God has done so much for me if my life doesn't reflect that?

I remember, at the korean bbq that I treated everyone to once I got my job, I got up to say some words haha. And I remember saying something about kindness and that kindness is from love, and the greatest love is from God. and then I said something like "It's my wish that you would all know the love of God." More than words. How I live. How I spend my time. To spend time loving is... good, but without God, it loses meaning. More and more spread that love.

If I don't update this now, then I'll never start updating it again

And I can't think of anything to write. However, this is still an update so there will be more to come.