An Update ....!!??!?! Time

Time is... precious. More so now than it's ever been.

There are many connotations when people say this. One is the, "I have 5 hours left before my midterm" time is precious. Then there's the "He's only going to be alive for 5 more minutes!" time is precious. Then there's the "Jesus is coming back soon" time is precious. And of course, there is the day to day, "I have x number of hours in a day to do whatever I want" and that is the angle I will approach on this.

I spend about 10.5 hours in transit and at work. (2 hour commute, 8 hours work, half hour lunch), sleep for maybe 7. So that leaves about 6.5 hours everyday to do anything. Maybe I spend 30 min in the morning getting up and then 30 min getting ready for bed. Maybe an hour and a half cooking, eating and cleaning. So I'm down to 4 hours. Seems like a lot, but for some reason I find myself without time to do simple things like responding to emails, dancing, praying. I pray on the train, everyday haha, I get an hour each way, and though my thoughts stray and wander, for the most part, I'm never bored on my commute. When I'm lucky enough to get a seat, I can read my Bible.

I know where my time goes. It goes into seeing people, spending time with friends. And it's so amazing to me and I'm so thankful to be able to do so. I always want to do more for my friends, and perhaps I beat up on myself when I fall short of my own want. Sometimes hearing, "you do enough" is enough to give me strength to keep on going and keep on pushing myself. To be kinder, less selfish, more considerate, caring.

There's a handful of people I've been praying for everyday for about a month. I want to grow that number more and more. When I pray, I haven't spent a lot of time, just being.... being with God. It's easy... easier when I was in college. I had so much time. I spend more time with people than I did back then I think. But less time with God... is it worth it? More than that, I believe the time I spent with God made the time I had with people more meaningful. Not that my time now isn't, but ... I.. miss just being able to talk to people how good God is, and everything He's done for me. But who am I if I'm just words... So what if God has done so much for me if my life doesn't reflect that?

I remember, at the korean bbq that I treated everyone to once I got my job, I got up to say some words haha. And I remember saying something about kindness and that kindness is from love, and the greatest love is from God. and then I said something like "It's my wish that you would all know the love of God." More than words. How I live. How I spend my time. To spend time loving is... good, but without God, it loses meaning. More and more spread that love.